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| Photo by Nick Wignall |
CONQUERING WRITER'S DOUBT
I'm part of a fabulous critique group. We call ourselves Friday Minds and we meet on Zoom once a month to discuss our manuscripts. Over the past two years, Friday Minds has become a close-knit group that genuinely cares for one another. We can count on each other for honest critiques.
We are however, free to seek others for support and critiques. That said, I connected with a writer on Twitter who helped me work on tweets for a picture book pitch session. She helped me make my pitches stronger. Seeing that she offered critique services and wanting to repay her for her time and efforts, I decided to pay her for a mini-critique of several picture books.
The pieces I had chosen had already been reviewed by Friday Minds, and then revised and polished. In fact, some of them were being queried. I was curious to get another opinion and expected to hear good things about them. BUT...
I was surprised and disappointed that she noted they were too heavy on lyrical language and not strong enough on plot.
I WAS CRUSHED. I love writing lyrical picture books—a good number of agents have even complimented my style. But her feedback had me reeling. Feeling incredibly low. Though I had been published in peer-reviewed scientific journals, in The Christian Science Monitor and Highlights and had received awards from Writer's Digest, I began doubting my work.
I couldn't return to my writing. And I've been writing every day for over 20 years!
I turned to the prolific Jane Yolen, author of Owl Moon and many other masterpieces. We're friends on Facebook, but I wasn't sure she'd respond to a question. Still, it was worth a try. I sent her a message wanting to know how she felt about less than positive critiques. And she wrote back! Jane said, "I am in a critique group. I always listen, often take notes on what was said and solve it their way or my way. But just as often, I decide I prefer it my way."
Her note made me feel better. Two days later, my critique group met online. When I shared my experience with the group, one of them said: "That is ONE PERSON’S opinion. Your work has received so many “thumbs up” — not just from us, your CPs, but from the contests and other readers, etc. Take a deep breath. Try to look at the comments as objectively as possible. Are there examples in your drafts where she had a point? Are there examples in your drafts where she’s wrong? Any work you potentially may still do on any of them is completely up to you. An agent told me (in a workshop earlier this year), don’t make changes until your MS has been passed on/rejected at least half a dozen times."
Another critique partner knew the critic and pointed out that she had not been published nor was she represented by an agent. This got me questioning the critic's expertise.
As I sorted out my feelings on the less than glowing critiques, a sad memory popped up. When I was nineteen-years-old, I was interviewed by three professors to determine my eligibility for the prestigious Medical Technology program at the University of Kentucky. Only 25 students would be selected. After the fifteen-minute session had ended, the professor accidently left her comments on the desk, and...I took advantage to read them. She had written that I was aloof. Seeing that word made me freeze. Aloof? That was so not me. Yet, that's how she saw me in the short time we had spoken. She never took into consideration that I was young and scared. Luckily, the two other professors were warmer and easier to chat with and long story short, I was admitted into the program. Nonetheless, that one opinion troubled me for a very long time.
It took me years to figure out that some people's assessments may be way off and totally incorrect.
After listening to Friday Minds and feeling more encouraged after reading Jane Yolen's advise, I decided to edit a few lines of my stories, but only the parts that I thought actually needed some attention. Gradually, I regained my confidence to return to writing, every day, like I always had.
I learned a lot from this situation. In the future I will check credentials to see if a critic is qualified to give thoughtful reviews. I will be weigh the remarks carefully and trust my heart on how to revise. I won't let a negative critique ruin my day. Should self-doubt raise its ugly head, I only have to remember what my critique partners have said and what agents have told me about my work. I only have to remember it comes down to believing, believing in my writing and trusting the gut feeling that tells me: YOU have created something wonderful.
And nobody can tell me otherwise.
✌ and ♥
